The bong of champions.

AP — Controversy was sparked when Michael Phelps was photographed lighting up at a party in November while visiting friends at the University of South Carolina. Roor happily endorsed the athlete who boasted a record-setting eight gold medals at the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing, China.

Spokeswoman Octavia Puterschmit said this of the situation, “Here at Roor, we couldn’t be happier with Mr. Phelps; he really knows how to rip a bong… like a true champion.” She continued, “Some are in an uproar (pun intended) over this sponsorship and I don’t really see what the big deal is.”

Phelps responded to the public’s statements of discontent by proclaiming, “Fuck you guys! I just won eight gold medals! I’m 23 years old for Christ’s sake and I’m not a little goodie-two-shoes punk ass bitch like the media makes me out to be. I get high, I get drunk and I fuck bitches… lots of them.” Phelps further continued his rant by saying, “You know what? You assholes go out there and win eight fucking gold medals and see if you don’t want to get high as fuck… for real… do it… do it… oh wait America, I’m sorry what did you say? You’re too obese to swim like me? That’s what I thought bitches, lay the fuck off!”

Roor’s endorsement of Michael Phelps marks the first time in history that a pro-marijuana company has sponsored an Olympic athlete. The details of the sponsorship are still being ironed out.  Phelps says he’ll continue smoking and winning gold medals.

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