Mona-Dee, Billy-Joe, and Thelma-Sue proudly pose for the media.

Billy-Joe Bushnell is very pleased with his work of art. Often referred to as “Yee-Haw Picasso” or “Billy-Joe Van Gough,” Mr. Bushnell’s most recent still-life painting of a beach in South Carolina has been getting rave reviews among polygamists world-wide.

While digging deeper into the artist’s inspiration, Billy-Joe Bushnell was thrilled to explain what motivated him to create this beautiful work of art.

“Well ya see now, I got the idear for the portrait when I was listening to Brad Paisley’s ‘Who Needs Pictures.’ It reminded of this one time when I thought about driving to South Carolina. So, therefore, I really felt oblergated to paint this here picture,” said Billy-Joe.

He continued, “I really like to think outside the box, unless I’m in a box, then I’m thinking about how to get on the outside of the box that I’m currently in.”

Mr. Bushnell’s wives were ecstatic to hear that the painting titled as The Beach in South Carolina is Fuckin’ Sweet was a hit in the polygamist community. Mona-Dee, 16, and Thelma-Sue, 15, have been happily married to Billy-Joe for 4 years each.

“We all decided it would be best to take a picture directly in front of the painting, blocking approxermately 40% of its view. And we agreed on not matching our attire, at all…” said Mona-Dee.

Thelma-Sue added, “We asked Billy-Joe to wear blue to blend in with the ocean; and I’m purdy sure it worked because his eyes are glistening like the eyes of a dolphin.”

When asked about her sense of fashion (or lack thereof) Thelma-Sue exclaimed, “I love clashing my outfits entirely! Most people assume that I am color blind in one, if not both of my eyes.”

A flamingo-pink cardigan on top of a rose dress is a definite fashion statement.

The Beach in South Carolina is Fuckin’ Sweet will be displayed in the living room window of the Bushnell’s trailer for the remainder of the decade.

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I just want everyone to enjoy a nice knuckle sandwich today. Theres something about the day before your birthday that makes you want to serve out cold knuckle sandwiches….so enjoy . Wash it all down with a Can of Whoop-Ass

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Tragic Spill at sperm bank

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The bong of champions.

AP — Controversy was sparked when Michael Phelps was photographed lighting up at a party in November while visiting friends at the University of South Carolina. Roor happily endorsed the athlete who boasted a record-setting eight gold medals at the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing, China.

Spokeswoman Octavia Puterschmit said this of the situation, “Here at Roor, we couldn’t be happier with Mr. Phelps; he really knows how to rip a bong… like a true champion.” She continued, “Some are in an uproar (pun intended) over this sponsorship and I don’t really see what the big deal is.”

Phelps responded to the public’s statements of discontent by proclaiming, “Fuck you guys! I just won eight gold medals! I’m 23 years old for Christ’s sake and I’m not a little goodie-two-shoes punk ass bitch like the media makes me out to be. I get high, I get drunk and I fuck bitches… lots of them.” Phelps further continued his rant by saying, “You know what? You assholes go out there and win eight fucking gold medals and see if you don’t want to get high as fuck… for real… do it… do it… oh wait America, I’m sorry what did you say? You’re too obese to swim like me? That’s what I thought bitches, lay the fuck off!”

Roor’s endorsement of Michael Phelps marks the first time in history that a pro-marijuana company has sponsored an Olympic athlete. The details of the sponsorship are still being ironed out.  Phelps says he’ll continue smoking and winning gold medals.

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Mrs. Clinton says, "HEHEHEHE!"

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Eight years remembered, the Bush Legacy

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